be kind
we are always asked
to understand the other person's
viewpoint
no matter how
out-dated
foolish or
obnoxious.
one is asked
to view
their total error
their life-waste
with
kindliness,
especially if they are
aged.
but age is the total of
our doing.
they have aged
badly
because they have
lived
out of focus,
they have refused to
see.
not their fault?
whose fault?
mine?
I am asked to hide
my viewpoint
from them
for fear of their
fear.
age is no crime
but the shame
of a deliberately
wasted
life
among so many
deliberately
wasted
lives
is.
I'll probably be spending the rest of my day playing Dino Run, instead of researching the impact meat intake has on the environment and trying to memorize Middle English for Mrs. Carpenter. Why couldn't she have given us this assignment when the rest of her classes were learning it, too, so I could feel some sort of accomplishment instead of this dull sense of dread. Megan gave me her phonetic-spelling write up of all lines and it makes it seem less intimidating, but I still don't know how to pronounce some of it. I'm probably getting way too far ahead of myself because this is the second day that we've been trying to learn it and who can memorize something in two days? She hasn't even told us how to say half of it.
What am I even talking about? I had a good time last night with Jimmy and Aaron and Billy and Chuck. We're going to have more good times this weekend, I hope, and I'm really excited about getting dressed up for dinner on Saturday but it seems so far away. At least it's not Monday. But then again it could be Friday. I've been messing with photos on Flickr a lot today, too, outside of my dino running. I want to download the (pirated) version of Photoshop for OS X but I feel slightly guilty editing my photos. I mean, I want them to be honest and tell the whole story. I could easily manipulate them to force them to say exactly what I want them to say, but some of the beauty is in the personal interpretation. That sounds silly, doesn't it? A picture shows what is in a picture and that's what it is, right? Just looking through my photo library (there are seriously tons of things saved on my hard drive) I can remember what a specific photograph said to me at a certain point, but now it means something different. When I randomly explore things on Flickr, I see things from someone else's point of view.. but through my lens. But will editing a picture change that? No. It's still art, open to interpretation and criticism from others. What I'm saying is, personally, my integrity feels slightly challenged if I edit something a present it as the truth. It's different if it's going to be something I offer as fiction, or.. well, it's hard to get into words. Kinda like Addie Bundren, speaking from her coffin and saying words aren't enough. Someone needs to come up with a mental thought-transducer or something.. but that would be scary.
