Anyway, I have more chill time again today. I even got home earlier because I wasn't sidetracked by buying sea salt from health stores. I'm also supposed to get Kearstin and me some Subway before I go back to Glenn today, and she drew me this simultaneously cute and vicious-looking sub with a list of all the stuff she wanted on it. Three kinds of meat and pickles. Not surprisingly, I don't eat any of that!
Anyway, I'm going to convince her to go to the library with me so I can procure my huge stack o' books for Spring break reading. I really want to explore more Dostoevsky, and Kafka, and there are some scifi novels by Vonnegut and Wells I want to read. Also, I think I'm going to re-read The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde because the last time I read that was in the eighth grade and it's seriously one of my favorite novels of all time. I also really feel like seeing a movie, so maybe we'll do that too. It's too exciting to actually have plans for once! (stfu Chuck we never have actual plans aside from Chipotle)
Anyway, right now, I'm listening to Regina Spektor and hanging out until I have to go to Glenn at 12:30 for my AP Lit quarter exam. I wanted to come home, clean the crap out of my house, and go but I've gotten too caught up in making saline solution for my ears to be motivated. I think I'm just going to start cleaning up a little and then get Charles to help me when he comes over later.
I'm feeling pretty disgusting right now. I missed school yesterday and today because of some disgusting stomach bug that has been killing my body. Sweating all over the place while waking up every two hours to puke is not my idea of fun, not to mention the fact I'm missing two days of class the week before mid-terms. Yesterday was horrible: I seriously slept from 8am until 9pm with little bursts of waking up to puke or move over because of abdominal cramps. I felt a lot better around nine, so I went to bed with the intention of going to school the next morning, but when 6:30am came around and I threw up the three saltine crackers and water I had for dinner, I figured I could miss one more day.
I also had every intention of studying for the information I'm missing, but I really couldn't keep my head raised for long enough to do that. Today it's a must.
Anyway, yeah, I really feel like going back to bed right now but no no no no no I won't!
Anyway, I have to work from noon to 6:30 tomorrow. I'm not dreading it, I'm just.. tired? I don't know; I have conflicting feelings about work. It's pretty fun when I actually get there, but the thought of it makes me never want to go back. I guess it's the fact that it, technically, is never going to stop. I mean, I could always quit (and I plan to eventually!) but.. it's not like school in the sense that, when you finish one day, you can revel in the fact that it's one more day down until it's over. I like working toward a goal. I guess you could say that getting paid is my goal, but it feels like the money isn't worth it but I have no idea how I survived without that weekly check. I have so much more freedom now, and I can actually provide for myself. I even have like $50 in savings and I think I'm going to average putting in $60 a month. That's $720 a year at 4% interest for at least four years until I'm out of college.. and I'm practically doing nothing to get it. I can still buy whatever I want (okay within reason) whenever I want and I love the people I work with. I'm just stressed out.
In other news, I've spent my entire day (except for a delicious veggie burger for lunch with Charles) working on Death of a Salesman assignments for English. I'm almost done, which is amazing, considering this isn't a Sunday night before it's due. It really seems like this half of the school year is dragging on forever. Everyone says, "it's going by so fast!" but I wish it would just go by faster for me. I want to get on with the rest of my life, please please please! But isn't that the summation of all my other Vox posts? I'm tempted to change my calendar to April already.
by John Donne
MARK but this flea, and mark in this,
How little that which thou deniest me is ;
It suck'd me first, and now sucks thee,
And in this flea our two bloods mingled be.
Thou know'st that this cannot be said
A sin, nor shame, nor loss of maidenhead ;
Yet this enjoys before it woo,
And pamper'd swells with one blood made of two ;
And this, alas ! is more than we would do.
O stay, three lives in one flea spare,
Where we almost, yea, more than married are.
This flea is you and I, and this
Our marriage bed, and marriage temple is.
Though parents grudge, and you, we're met,
And cloister'd in these living walls of jet.
Though use make you apt to kill me,
Let not to that self-murder added be,
And sacrilege, three sins in killing three.
Cruel and sudden, hast thou since
Purpled thy nail in blood of innocence?
Wherein could this flea guilty be,
Except in that drop which it suck'd from thee?
Yet thou triumph'st, and say'st that thou
Find'st not thyself nor me the weaker now.
'Tis true ; then learn how false fears be ;
Just so much honour, when thou yield'st to me,
Will waste, as this flea's death took life from thee.
Although not named after Ernest Rutherford, the great man played an important role in Marsden's life, first of all helping to make Marsden's scientific reputation and then starting him on the path that would see him become the pre-eminent figure in New Zealand science.
Anyway, tomorrow night is the Invisible Children United benefit techno dance party at The Werehouse. It starts at about eight, so Charles and I are going to go get some dinner at Skippy's beforehand. Yum veggie hotdog! I am so ready to dance and I even bought myself some new clearance hosiery today and I'm going to borrow a skirt from Erin because I'm tired of all mine. I'm way too excited!
Some people really turn my stomach.. and not just the cheap people at AC Moore who want you to void out their entire order after you get done ringing up about thirty different sheets of scrapbooking paper because they realized too late it was the 29-cent variety instead of the 24.
No, the people that really bother me are those who just can't get outside their own little solar system for a minute to see that there is a whole entire universe out there. We humans are just specks of dust inside a giant's eye despite what I'm seeing nowadays. Come on, kids, your friends are out there looking out for you. They love you. Don't make them go away.
Today was, overall, delightful. I had breakfast and lunch with Chuck and we really didn't do anything in any of my classes including the generally-stress-inducing AP Lit. We're starting Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman to complete our three-part study of the tragic hero. (Aristotle-Shakespeare-Miller?) Work, too, was fine after I stopped stressing about my missed day on Sunday. I talked to Christie, the shift manager, about scheduling me for maybe 10-15 hours a week and I got a, "I'll see what I can do." She was initially pretty cheerful until I told her about I wanted, which is way more than I expected!
Anyway, it makes me a little sad that I have three whole weeks until Spring break. I completely need a break from school and it will be nice to just sit around a little bit. Maybe do some yoga. I see mats and books and videos all the time in bookstores and Whole Foods and Target and stuff, and I really want to try it but I'm not sure I'll stick to it without an actual class to go to. At the Electric Mustache Gallery in the Werehouse, they have a yoga class Tuesdays and Thursdays for $5 but my schedule probably won't work into it until at least the summer. :(
